It’s supposed to be the thought that counts.
It’s typically customary to give a gift at a wedding, but anyone who’s gotten married knows that there are always a few people who show up empty-handed. One bride’s rant about the low number of gifts she received, however, sparked a debate over what’s worse: not giving a gift or complaining about not getting enough gifts.
The post originally appeared on Facebook and was shared to Reddit’s Bridezilla forums. The original post begins, “This is crazy to me. I’m writing out thank you cards, I’m writing a total of 30 cards, we had over 100 guests. People apparently don’t do wedding gifts.”
A later edit to the post explains, “I don’t care about gifts, we already have everything we could need. It’s just annoying that most of the people that came and didn’t bring gifts are people who had events and we got them gifts. Weddings are expensive. We spent $1,000 just on beer and our guests took it upon themselves to take the leftovers at the end of the night without asking us.”
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The post concludes, “This is just a rant.”
The rant sparked a debate among commenters about whether or not the woman was acting like a “bridezilla” for complaining about apparently only getting 30 gifts at her wedding.
One commenter raised several questions, asking, “Maybe her friends couldn’t afford gifts? Maybe they ordered gifts to be delivered to the house later on? Maybe they teamed up to get gifts? Maybe some of them contributed to decorations or made the dresses or something like that in lieu of a tangible gift. There are lots of reasons why she might not actually have one gift per guest under her wedding tree.”
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Another user, however, defended the bride, writing, “It’s pretty bad to go to an open bar wedding of someone who gave you a gift at your own wedding and give nothing. And then take home leftovers. She needs better friends.”
“This is not bridezilla at all,” added another. “It is super tacky to attend someone’s wedding and not bring a gift. I would be irritated about it too.”
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One commenter tried to look at it from another perspective, writing, “I get it can be depressing, but each individual person doesn’t necessarily bring a gift. Say she had 100 guests even. For the most part they would be couples, not to mention families of three or four-plus, often friend groups get together and do a group gift whether it be a lump sum of money or an expensive registry request. So 30 to 40 thank you notes seems reasonable. Also, assuming it was a recent wedding, don’t expect too much during a pandemic.”